Failed again

Folks

Once more I have failed to post on an adequate basis, what can I say..I have been reasonably busy on a new project.

I decided to take myself away from things dear to me and spend a few months telling folk stuff they don't really want to hear.

Everyone wants to here that it is not their fault, and that they are hard done by.

The truth is most folk have had an awfully big say in their current sitiuation, either by inaction or action, it is rare to find a real victim - don't get me wrong they do exist, the pity is these poor souls are now lost, swamped by the flood of 'me too' victims who can blame nobody else but themselves.

Can this apply to a whole society? There is a theory that a popualtion creates its own destiny in some deep way, Hitler was a product of German society and rose to articulate a deep rage with the saxon soul, Churchill in a similar fashion was 'chosen' when he represented the vaules of those around him, and whilst he did not really change after the war, he was quickly discarded as society moved on whilst he did not.

Was Obama inevitable? Is he Americas reaction to years of Bush? Is he a man who was produced to represent a peoples need for change rather than somebody decided of his own accord to lead them towards that conculsion.

A society which wants to be dominated will be dominated, one who wants to be oppressed will be oppressed and a people that want to be free will be so....and its nobody else's fault.

Note: Gingers fall outside this vague rule, they are victims in the truest sense of the word (except the pretty female ones).

THE WINTER COMETH

I have for a variety of reasons been living in a somewhat alien environment for the last few months..I would like to lay the blame for my lack of posting firmly at the door of this unfortunate circumstance but that would mean that I, good friends, was being less than generous with the truth.

Whilst the strangeness of my current existence has had an impact on my general thought process it has not particularly impacted on my level of personal drive which remains locked (as always) in stasis..

trying to articulate the difficulty I have in moving from one place to the next either physically or mentally I struggle for suitable metaphors, my favourite at the moment is this....imagine I am a sloth, a great shaggy densely muscled ball of stinking fur hanging from a branch, I decide to move toward a big gleaming cluster of fruity tropically things further down the branch, I give myself a reasonable time scale (3 /4 hours) and proceed.
One hand off (the right - my traditional 'recce hand when hunting fruit), gently does it as I waggle it lazily along the branch, grip secure, next the left leg (not been moved for a while at takes some effort this one), away it swings before locking securely further along the branch on a nice thick limb, remembering at all times what me mam said (God bless her slow moving soul), I remove the right leg and fix it smoothly further ahead. Finally old faithful the left, I break grip....and blow me - I am falling at a horrible rate of knots; related I thinking an odd moment of clarity to the mass of the earth and some universal constant that I can't quite remember - but I am covering the 15 meter distance to the forest floor at a pace significantly faster than my normal clip...I hit the soft earth which squeezes the air out of me in hot rush leaving me mostly sad.....

As I recover, I begin the after action review, looking around, without a whole body sigh, I begin to understand, the right hand is still firmly attached to a limb, but this is my left arm (old faithful indeed!), the left leg to the right arm which is also housing the right leg....3 points of contact (good)....none on a tree (bad)...imagine at this point how the sloth is feeling, as it contemplates the next 7 hours movement, desolation sweeps his little body... got it?

That is how I tend to feel from day to day, which is why the posts sometimes do not come as thick and as a fast as I may like......

Oh!, and it has got pretty cold recently hence the post title......

The Hunter becomes the hunted

People..

After my last post glorifying my superiority over the wild creatures I have been targeted. Mother nature herself has sent a wraith to haunt me.

Climbing into bed last night, I was alarmed to see a shadow detach itself from my pillow and dart silently toward the dark, before I could react, like smoke it had gone...but I knew that it waited, I knew what it wanted.

I really hate mozzies

Especially the ones that target you when you have made the all too reasonable decision a lazy person must make...and not bother with the complicated array of anti-malaria pills I have been given.

Needless to say the critter struck a few times before its luck ran out at 2343hrs last night when is cannoned off my computer screen, was monetarily disorientated and then melded - for ever, into the soft pixels....

It struck gold in a vein behind my knee (aiming to disable me), I am stronger than that but I can only hope it was firing blanks - in a tropically deadly disease manner of speaking...

Like I said, I have been issued with a vast array of anti-malarial drugs, but being a lazy realist I decided early on that attempting to keep track of my intake would be an exercise in futility...I am as ever a hostage to fortune...

This is what could be coursing through my veins....


Yes, bad I know, noone needs that sort of thing wandering around the corridors of your body..

You think that is bad however, take a look at the Mozzie like creature currently buzzing around the corridors of power in London..


looks like a mozzie, acts like a mozzie...

actually a muppet....

Sometines you have to take nature on

Sometimes you have to take nature on, at a recent 'bird' demo in France I caught the eye of this.....I believe it is an American bald eagle, a quick appraisal by both species resulted in the conclusion that northern Continental Europe was only big enough for one of us.

It had on its side, a serious looking beak, claws like a screenshot from Jurassic Park and, as you can see, a sickening size - given its role as a high speed flying creature.

It came at me with some intent......

The result? Try checking its blog, or alternately check out my extremely comfy new down pillow...

Pah!

PS. It is not a yank bald actually...five pounds for a correct ID...

A ponder on the goldfish

I have heard that Goldfish have only 3 second memories, its the reason they can go round and around the fish bowl without going bonkers.

Its also the reason (you have to have at least two fish for this) why, if you watch fish in a bowl, one of them will routinely startle and go hurtling off round the tank haphazardly. Having taken time out for a 3 second stare out the window it has completely lost all knowledge of its 'tankmates' who will appeared to have sneaked up on him ninja style.

To be fair, this fish, which is half way to growing a pair of human bollocks out of its head would startle you whatever your memory..

The thought is this, were you mean, or a young boy, and took a goldfish out of the water and threw it as high as you could, what does the goldfish think it will land as?

For the first 3 seconds Goldie will clearly be in some degree of panic, out of water, at speed and gaining height..

after this though, the memory of the water fades and looking at his situation logically, Goldie, given his current speed, colour, height and trajectory he might well assume that he is a basketball, thrown from the hand of the boy below (perhaps, if he is lucky he will make the hoop).

Although he has a short memory our friend is not stupid and as he reaches the apex of his flight his 'ball' brain will notice a couple of things, he is not as ball shaped as he would like (a puncture?) and he is far from the court, above a pond, this will allow him to deduce that he is not a ball at all(basket or otherwise) but what is he?

And then he begins his descent, slowly at first but then gathering speed , what is he doing? He must be a bird! He looks left and right, there tucked in are his wings, he is diving for some reason but why?

And then he gets it...below him is the pond, and within it strange golden creatures..fish?....prey!

Its clear to him now as he reaches terminal velocity, he is a raptor hunting fish -an osprey!



Picking his target he concentrates upon a glimmer of gold beneath the water...moments before impact he moves to bring his claws to bear, a golden tail appears below him...some sort of eagle?

How brilliant is that..a Golden Eagle, truly I have won the game of life?

And then BOOM, impact..

he is drowning, something in his bird brain tells him that things have gone terribly wrong, he thrashes his wings but all that does is jet him forward into the deep, he can't breathe.....resigning himself to a watery grave he breathes in the cool water.....and swims off to join the school..



Startling the shit out of them as he does....