Feet

Most people have a good relationship with feet, they are by and large useful buggers, carrying you around, providing good sturdy nails to pick at when you have a moment and if you are really lucky, providing an assortment of rich dry skin pickings to scratch away at in that blissful period post bathing when you are too wet to dress, and too lazy to dry...(in some cultures, this skin is much prized as a form of medicine and eaten with relish - incidentally I am talking about relish both in terms of enjoyment and as a condiment)

Folk even derive whole livelihoods from feet...as well as the obvious shoemakers and assorted elven helpers there are the shoes sellers, the reflexologists and and of course the chiropodists. When I first heard about chiropody I thought 'Wow', that sounds brilliant, imagine getting paid to whittle away at Cindy Crawford's silken feet! What a brilliant wheeze, a supermodel paying you to fiddle with her feet..

This here is what I am talking about, you can't quite see her feet, but you can imagine the beauties?

Of course, as anyone who has been near an inner city McDonald's will tell you, there are feet out which defy the laws of nature..feet so bad that even the angel feet of Ms Crawford could not compensate for the horrors of having to go skin-on-skin with a pair of fat cheesy scum ridden scabbers......

These pictures have proved so traumatic that I have lost my train of thought...be careful what you search for people, there are things out there on the interweb which should be encased in concrete and buried in the North sea.....I now really feel sick..any chiropodists or whatever they are called should be knighted (for those from overseas this is the British equivalent of getting your 5th McDonalds gold star...