The real reason

So the real honest to goodness reason that my blogging collapsed?...I was going to say lack of internet access, as I was marooned in Ireland in a place called Limerick, sounds a jolly sort of place does it not? The place from which funny little poems hail, it is known locally however as 'Stab City'' and reminded me of a slightly rundown version of Woking but with cracking pubs rather than crack heads.

I was going to say this lack of access was the reason but this would be a lie..the real reason is I have evolved over time (started about 35 years ago) into a person with a tendency towards inaction, some call in laziness, some call it a considered approach, I think I must just fear rapid change (leaping up from the sofa is never a good idea in the world of the hog).

This tendency was even encouraged by my time within the military...I give you the principles of war...

First, define the 'end state' (i.e locals subdued, all natural resources on a slow boat to Bristol) and ensure that all strategy is directed toward achieving it. Then simply apply these in order to give the opposition a damn good thrashing (which is also a military term in Britain)

Concentration of Force

Make the best use of military power to achieve the commander's aims by overwhelming the enemy's military capacity. (i.e if you can gang up on a bloke do so...in fact actually plan to gang up on other people, chavs have this one nailed where I live and rarely enter into a dispute with anything less than an 8-1 advantage).

Chavs 'concentrating force' in preparation for future urban operations...

Economy of Effort

Make efficient use of forces, conserving energy and materiel to prevent unnecessary depletion. (This is IT! This is the dancer! Imagine my joy when this was read out to me by some keen young buck in Camoflage at the academy..I have lived by this mantra my hole life, that and the well know Spanish rule of ' Mañana').

This is the man..the living embodiment of the principle and a badger I respect immensely..Maintenance of Morale

Prevent one's own forces from losing the will to fight. (This is normally achieved using the stick and carrot when dealing with donkeys...for humans I have found cash works best and the threat of prison although loose women also have a role to play).

Offensive Action

Maintain operational tempo by attacking....... the enemy. (The Germans are the recognised masters of this principle but unfortunately also use it as a principle of peace....as the Poles and Belgians will readily testify.)

An example of the sort of diplomatic plan the Germans routinely draw up without telling their allies...

Flexibility

Be able to respond to unexpected changes or attacks and be able to modify one's plans accordingly. (I have found that this is easier to apply if you have not bothered to draw up plans in the first place..the glorious 'suck it and see' principle.)

Co-Operation

Ensure that the maritime, land and air components work in unison to achieve the end state. (The only way to achieve this in Britain will be to disband the Royal Air Force...an outcome I often campaign for, I consider Cub Scouts to be more disciplined outfit.)

Security.

Prevent the enemy from benefiting from lapses in operational security at all stages of the military process. (The best way to prevent this is to either not have any lapses or more securely do not go through any stages of the military process, interestingly Mr Lazy never gives much away...in the words of great fat man "He's so mauve, you never know what he's thinking..."

Surprise

Seize the initiative by attacking the enemy when, where and how he least expects it. (Dwarfs are particularly good at this due to their small stature, devious nature and clever use of 'Dwarf holes' which they use to 'lay up' hidden during the day. Their only weakness is they inherent lack of speed due to the previously discussed lack of knee joint mobility..without this handicap I am confident that they would rule the world...)

Sustainability

Support, fuel and guide forces to maintain operational capability. (This is where women, and in particular Mothers excel...without a Mothers ability to produce 'pack lunches', warmest kit and cartons of juice, many a brave expedition to the park or beach would have ended in Father inspired disaster.)

Point being, you can get awfully far following the Economy of Effort principle but it can evolve into the sort of inaction that results in bedsores.....