A ponder on the goldfish

I have heard that Goldfish have only 3 second memories, its the reason they can go round and around the fish bowl without going bonkers.

Its also the reason (you have to have at least two fish for this) why, if you watch fish in a bowl, one of them will routinely startle and go hurtling off round the tank haphazardly. Having taken time out for a 3 second stare out the window it has completely lost all knowledge of its 'tankmates' who will appeared to have sneaked up on him ninja style.

To be fair, this fish, which is half way to growing a pair of human bollocks out of its head would startle you whatever your memory..

The thought is this, were you mean, or a young boy, and took a goldfish out of the water and threw it as high as you could, what does the goldfish think it will land as?

For the first 3 seconds Goldie will clearly be in some degree of panic, out of water, at speed and gaining height..

after this though, the memory of the water fades and looking at his situation logically, Goldie, given his current speed, colour, height and trajectory he might well assume that he is a basketball, thrown from the hand of the boy below (perhaps, if he is lucky he will make the hoop).

Although he has a short memory our friend is not stupid and as he reaches the apex of his flight his 'ball' brain will notice a couple of things, he is not as ball shaped as he would like (a puncture?) and he is far from the court, above a pond, this will allow him to deduce that he is not a ball at all(basket or otherwise) but what is he?

And then he begins his descent, slowly at first but then gathering speed , what is he doing? He must be a bird! He looks left and right, there tucked in are his wings, he is diving for some reason but why?

And then he gets it...below him is the pond, and within it strange golden creatures..fish?....prey!

Its clear to him now as he reaches terminal velocity, he is a raptor hunting fish -an osprey!



Picking his target he concentrates upon a glimmer of gold beneath the water...moments before impact he moves to bring his claws to bear, a golden tail appears below him...some sort of eagle?

How brilliant is that..a Golden Eagle, truly I have won the game of life?

And then BOOM, impact..

he is drowning, something in his bird brain tells him that things have gone terribly wrong, he thrashes his wings but all that does is jet him forward into the deep, he can't breathe.....resigning himself to a watery grave he breathes in the cool water.....and swims off to join the school..



Startling the shit out of them as he does....